If I Ruled the World...

"If I ruled the world,

Every man would be as free as a bird

Every voice would be a voice to be heard..."

~ Cyril Ornadel, Leslie Bricusse  

This has been a tough week.  I have watched with dismay as this President signs executive order after executive order that I disagree with.  I have serious concerns about his mental health and the agenda of many of the people he surrounds himself with.  I can't believe that the interference of a foreign government, let alone Russia, hasn't raised more of an outcry nationwide. I have watched demonstrations that remind me of the divisiveness of the 60's that tore apart our families and communities.  I fear our very democracy is being eroded before my eyes, fed by the beliefs of a small segment of our population with little regard for the needs or values of the larger whole, even blatant disregard.

I want to think "we are better than this."  But that belief is being tested almost everywhere I look.  When lies are called alternative facts and people brag about posting false stories, when basic Constitutional rights (freedom of speech, freedom of the press and freedom of assembly) are threatened, when I see resistance that looks as ugly as that which is being resisted, when I see and hear behavior I would have chastised a 10 year old for, I am at best stunned, at worst saddened and afraid.  So....

If I had my way -

• we'd challenge our generalizations - not all Republicans support this president and his policies; not all Muslims are terrorists; not all Christians are Evangelical; not all Democrats are Progressives; not all Pro-Choice supporters advocate abortion; not all voters who didn't vote for him voted for her; not all who voted for him are racist, etc., etc.
• we'd "seek to understand, then be understood" - whether in personal conversation or on social media, we'd ask more questions for clarity; consider at least a point, if not the entire perspective, that is being made; provide feedback for understanding (even if not in total agreement) before countering with our own points of view.  
• we'd move beyond blame, especially overarching blame of a single group of people - there are many factors that contributed to the outcome of this election, many groups that can be pointed to for the roles they played or didn't play; we'd do well to remember that blame elicits more defensiveness than ownership.
• we'd tamp down the flames of hatred rather than fan them -  name-calling, profanity, insult, ridicule and rudeness are running rampant; hatred is being justified by anger; respect is being demanded without being given; "argument turns too easily into animosity; disagreement escalates into dehumanization." (George W. Bush) 
• we'd be as aware of our own biases, as much as we are the biases of others - President Bush said it beautifully in Dallas, "too often we judge other groups by their worst examples, but judge ourselves by our best intentions."  I also would add that too often we justify with single anecdotes rather than patterns of behavior, belief rather than fact.
• we'd do our homework - we'd learn from history - ours and that of other countries, understand how easily populism morphs into Fascism, what trade wars can do to an economy, how easily the fabric of a society is torn apart and how long it takes to sew it back together again.  We would demand more than platitudes and slogans, proof and plans, not mere promises; personal character would be as much a criteria for success as wealth is.
• we would be engaged citizens - we'd understand how our government is supposed to operate; we'd understand something about basic economic theory; have some knowledge about the rest of the world; at least we would vote...and rid ourselves of the gerrymandering that has contributed to the belief - and in many cases, the reality - that our vote doesn't matter.

But most of all, we'd look for ways to pull together, rather than divide further - we'd seek compromise, solutions that work for the largest segments of our population, not just a single segment or group.  Next month I will be 76.  Although I am concerned for my own future should this regime impact Medicare and Social Security and health care as they promise to, I am not going to be here in 15 to 20 years, maybe less than that.  But my nieces and nephews, my grand-nieces and grand-nephews will be.  If I had my way, they will enjoy the opportunities I did.  They will live in an environment of clean air and clean water.  They will feel safe to express their political views, to practice the religion of their choice, or no religion at all. 

I know I will never rule the world.  But at least, I can still hope "this is not who we are."

I Digress...

"In any society where the mores are strong, laws are not needed.  In any society where the mores are not strong, laws are not enough."

~ unknown

I have searched for the origin of this quote, one I have referenced for the last couple decades.  The closest I have found is "When mores are sufficient, laws are unnecessary; when mores are insufficient, laws are unenforceable."       ~ Emile Durkheim, 19th Century French sociologist.   

Mores, as defined in my Oxford American Dictionary, are the "essential or characteristic customs and conventions of a community."  And this is why I digress from sharing about our personal challenge, for I see a much larger challenge in the months and years ahead.  The threads of compassionate and generous mores that I thought I could see developing over my lifetime have unraveled in mere months.  The venom and hatred, the legitimizing of White Supremacy horror is something I fear will not and cannot be repaired in the rest of my lifetime.  

When did it become all right to mock a handicapped person, to call any woman, let alone a public figure a b...ch...., a c...t, a sk...k?  I cannot bear to print the entire words. When did it become ok to openly and gleefully threaten revenge?  When did it become ok to even hint that someone should be beaten up for opposing you?  It seems like an eternity ago when Senator McCain had the decency to stop hateful comments about Barack Obama, and those comments pale in comparison to what we heard these past months.  Yet many people were willing to overlook all of this and put the man who said these things in the position to elevate this to a new norm.  I am beyond confused.

I am of the generation that remembers when we sent brothers and fathers and sons and husbands to battle Fascism.  I remember when the swaztika was feared and hated, not painted in our public places.  I remember when we grieved over the assassination of a president.  I remember when families were torn apart over differences of political belief.  I remember the Chicago Seven, and Kent State.  I remember a time when the support of a Russian dictator would have sent chills up one's spine.  I remember a president forced to resign for political shenanigans that seem like child's play compared to what has transpired over this past campaign.

Now, these new demonstrations.  Again, anger and fear and frustration unleashed.  And the very people who were so willing to overlook the constant and inappropriate display of anger these past months, even rationalized it as understandable (or applauded it), are now upset with this reaction. I can only imagine what they would have done had their candidate lost.  

I am not condoning either.  But I am also appalled by the hypocrisy.  People who are now asking me and others to suck it up and respect the office of the president are among those who blatantly disrespected it when this sitting president occupied it.  I am appalled by the hypocrisy.  Or is it merely that hypocrisy is another new norm that we are being asked to accept.

I recognize that people with whom my distress will register are most likely singing the same tune.  Others may dismiss my and others' distress as mere whining and being poor losers. To these folks I would say, I am indeed a poor loser.  But not because a Republican won. What I fear is that what we are losing is the underlying belief that we are and should be a decent and responsible people.  That we see education as the gateway to opportunity, that we value hard work and welcome the "tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to be free."  

In his commentary in the New York Times on Wednesday, David Brooks said it much better than I can..."This campaign has been an education in how societies come apart.  The Trump campaign has been like a flash flood that sweeps away the topsoil and both reveals and widens the chasms, crevices and cracks below."  And the man who led the attack now will sit in the White House.

I can only hope that "this too shall pass."  That the silver lining in these clouds is that a new commitment to a caring and compassionate country is also coalescing. I am sorry that my only contribution will be in writing and in encouraging others who will take, and  already are taking, up the fight to protect the gains we have made in the past.  I have other priorities that, as my sister wisely reminded me, must occupy my mind and heart, my energy and commitments.  Best wishes to all of us.

How Could I Forget?

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

~Franklin Delano Roosevelt

I woke thinking of this quote over a week ago and have been wrestling with what I wanted to say as a result.  I have heard myself saying to myself and others, far too often, that I am afraid.  But afraid of what, of whom, why?  What happened to my commitment to realistic optimism?

So, for days now, I've reflected on this.  Asked a group of women whose values, and intellect, whose thoughtfulness and honesty I respect if they are fear-full.  Deliberated on their responses.  Written pages in my personal journal.  

This is what I've concluded:

• I've been afraid, very afraid of the hate and venom that Donald Trump has unleashed, even more than Trump himself - and that's saying a lot.  
• I've been afraid of the environment of exclusion and pessimism, of blame and relentless attack promoted in Cleveland.
• I've been afraid that people who see the world differently than he does might not stand up for their beliefs, might retreat and retract rather than engage.
• Most of all, I've been afraid of my own fear, aware that I wanted to retreat, saying I would move to Costa Rica if he is elected.  

And, then, yesterday,I remembered.  A friend had posted an appreciation for the speech made in Philadelphia by the father of a fallen Muslim American soldier.  The response from, I am assuming, a Trump supporter, dismissed this father's message by pointing to Bengazi.  My response..."what if both views are valid."  Both/and - a concept I have tried to live by for years.  How could I forget?  Is this what fear does - block out what we know is better for us?
Make us deaf and blind to anything other than what we believe?  

What if, instead of "either/or", we could consider "both/and."  There is hate and venom out there, and there is compassion and consideration. There are those who will retreat and those who will engage.  There are those who will seek exclusion and pessimism and those who choose inclusion and optimism.  There are significant problems in this country and there has been significant progress over the past eight years.  One does not negate the other.

Isn't realistic optimism an example of both/and thinking?  Surely I can be both aware of and acknowledge  the negative and work to promote what's positive.   And with that, the fear has morphed into concern and commitment.  A relief for my husband, I'm sure.  And much healthier for me.  

Staying Sane in an Insane World

"We have met the enemy and he is us."

~ Pogo

Although Pogo uttered these words in l970 as a commentary on environmental concerns, almost 20 years ago, I woke with these words tumbling in my head during the early hours after news of the Dallas killings.  For, the issue of terrorism aside (not to discount it, but to stop focusing on it for awhile) we seem to be doing an effective job of attacking ourselves from within.  And from my vantage point, as an aging moderate committed to developing and applying critical thinking skills to my own thinking and to what I hear and see coming from others, I am more concerned about what we are doing to each other than what some terrorist might do to me.

Today, I ask that you consider what I am observing and if you do, too. let me know. Let me know how else and what else you think.  Let's start an on-line conversation that leads to something better in our communities  Invite others to discuss these issues, not just lament or defend, but discuss.  We need to talk, to think together.  Or we will surely end up in the direction we are headed.

This is some of what I see, too often, contributing to the distrust, anger, fear, polarity and ultimately to the growing proclivity for violence:

• Either/or - in its many permutations, right/wrong, good/bad; all/nothing; black/white. No room for a third alternative nor even the possibility that both views could contain valid points,
• Gross generalizations - even if challenging it when aimed at oneself, an unwillingness to challenge it in one's own thinking.  Consider pro-police representatives who, rightly, say most police are to be respected and the few "bad apples" don't represent the majority who then say Black Lives Matter is a racist group because of the behavior of a few.  Or vice versa.  All (fill in the blank) are racist, stupid, naive, the enemy., etc., etc.
• Name-calling and labeling to a degree I can't recall since a youngster on the playground.  Or a teacher of elementary students.  Outrageous accusations, belittling, demeaning, crude labels.  The resurgence of pejorative terms in public discourse we thought we had eradicated.  When did their use become a badge of honesty? 
• Emotions used to justify behavior, rather than even considering the underlying thinking that fosters the emotions.
• A demand for rights while disregarding the rights of others. 
• A defense of one amendment to the exclusion of others.
• Belief trumping reason.  Assumptions unchecked by data.  
• The declaration of faith, better yet, the "right" faith as a test for decency or leadership, rather than character or experience.  As though no one of faith could be a liar nor anyone who doesn't proclaim a faith could be truthful.
• The constant search for one person to blame rather than consider shared responsibility.  Data and facts dismissed as irrelevant or the domain of elitist intellectuals.
• The demand for immediate, simple solutions to complex problems.
• A media that provides a platform for the above and too rarely challenges it.  
• News as entertainment.  If it weren't for local news, PBS and NPR, and an occasional Sunday or holiday program, we would rarely see positive stories, stories of true heroism and compassion on the airways.
• The explosion of social media that allows for outrageous, even fallacious things to be said and spread with full anonymity.  At least we knew who our bullies were.  And while stories can be checked for authenticity, I have to wonder what % of people who pass something on have checked it first.
• What feels at times as the marginalization of moderate voices, while demanding that moderate Muslim voices come forward.  When moderate voices do step up, what degree of media coverage do they receive?  What % of time did Gov. Kasich receive I wonder.
• Compromise too often perceived as losing; the critical thinking and communication skills required to bridge gaps not only not valued, but distrusted, demeaned and dismissed.  
• The alarming proliferation of guns.  Those of us who remember the 60's and the wrenching apart of families, communities and the nation can only wonder how much worse that would have been were there access to the weaponry on our streets today.
• A growing sense that we are like the frog, who in a pot of water that gradually gets hotter and hotter, remains until he is boiled, unaware that he can and should get out before it's too late.

I do know this is not true of everyone.  I talk to folks who are aware of these issues, some who try to present a question or distinction to challenge any of the above whenever and wherever they can in the hopes of at least interrupting  the escalation.  I see people across the spectrum of opinion who are trying to interject a voice of reason, to try to calm the alarming volatility.  I know whites are standing beside blacks in peaceful demonstration and blacks are shielding police.  It is what keeps me from hiding in my bedroom with a blanket over my head. 

It is also what has given me pause to consider what else I can do to speak out for a more civil discourse and a more collaborative effort to solve problems.  This is what I am doing and what I am committed to do.

• I challenge overgeneralizations when I hear them.
• I ask for evidence when I hear or receive information that feels questionable or especially incendiary. 
• I offer an alternative point of view when asked for an either/or opinion - and one of my favorite responses, is "it depends."
• I try to listen to another point of view thoroughly and acknowledge that I've heard it, before offering my own.  Admittedly, this is the hardest thing for me when I deeply disagree and especially, when I suspect or even have evidence that the other person will not grant me the same consideration.
• I am commenting more frequently on Facebook, something I thought I would never do.
• I am writing to my Congressional representatives to remind them that they are (or most often are not) representing my views and values.
• I am going to write to certain channels and moderators to support those who are calling out irresponsible, disrespectful behavior of interviewees and panel members and to let those who do not know why I will not watch them.  Turning off the TV may help my personal morale, but it doesn't let anyone else know why.  That could help my morale even more!
• I volunteer time and energy to two local non-profits that are making a difference in my community.
• I will be on the campus of our local university this fall to help register new voters.
• Above all, I listen to myself and examine my thinking.  I try to remain alert to my biases and prejudices and defenses.  And I apologize when I have forgotten.

And finally, I thank you for whatever you are doing to insert some sanity into this insane state of affairs, and to encourage those of you who feel it wouldn't make a difference anyway to reconsider.  I particularly encourage those of us who are retired, who have more time and memories of how dangerous this rage and irresponsibility can be to step up and let our voices be heard.

Food for Thought

"Five percent of the people think; ten percent of the people think they think; and the other eighty-five percent would rather die than think."

~Thomas Edison

"Thinking is the hardest work there is which is probably why so few engage in it."

~Henry Ford

I've sat down to create this post a few times over the past couple weeks, sometimes just staring at the screen unable to focus my turbulent thinking, other times ending up by deleting what I had just composed.  Troubled because although I could well  be in the ten percent of people that Edison designated, I know I am not in the eighty-five percent.  I am willing to do the hard work.  I value critical and creative thinking.  I work to understand my own thinking, as well as that of others.  I struggle when I can't.

Why have I struggled?   Because, over and above the obvious craziness of the Orlando horror, the circus of this year's political campaigning and now Brexit,  I am on the verge of despair.   Not only because of the lack of cooperative, responsible thinking but what appears to be the downright refusal to do so.  It's not just the oversimplification of complex issues or rampant generalizations.  Or the name calling and innuendo, the righteous polarization.  Or the casting about for blame rather than determining responsibility.  Or even the out and out lies.

• It's hearing a neighbor say he can't understand why so much air time was given just because a  bunch of "queers" got killed.  Or the  pastor who said he was only sorry that more of these "pedophiles" weren't killed.  Or another pastor who called the murders God's retribution.

• It's the Governor of Florida saying that Isis is responsible for the murders, not the killer with a semi-automatic.  (Now Isis doesn't have to claim responsibility, our politicians will do it for them.)

• It's our seeming inability to consider it could be an act of terror AND a hate crime.

• Or that compromise in any way could be a win.

•  It's the refusal to let a bill come before the House of Representatives even when it's obvious it would have been voted down.

• It's the outright refusal to answer a question, not just to sidestep it.  And the reluctance or inability of too many interviewers to drive for anything more.

• It's panel members who shout at each other, talk over each other, make snide comments, demand a respect for their point of view that they do not give others' opinions.  

• It's the TV ad calling for telephone calls to assure that Donald Trump is not denied the presidency...not the nomination, but the presidency.  And I thought the election was to take place in November!

• It's the feeding, the fueling of fear, anger, distrust, hatred, no matter the consequences.

• It's the labeling of anything remotely moderate or tempered as weak or stupid, ill-informed, elitist - anything that will serve to diminish it.

And then, this morning a moment of clarity - during one of the Sunday morning political shows, the topic of fact checking came up in response to claims made by the major candidates.  One of the panel simply dismissed fact finding as an example of journalistic elitism and followed his assertion with the statement that the American People don't care about facts!  End of the conversation.  One man blithely declaring he speaks for the American People (all 300+ million of us) and asserting that we are not interested in the facts, - or, as challenged by another panelist, care about hearing the truth.  Not only a refusal to think anything other than what someone tells them to believe, but a devaluing of those who even suggest that they do.

Less confusion, yes.  Less dismay, no.

I know fear and hatred are not new.  I know partisanship and polarization are not new.  I have been voting since the 60's after all.  But the issues are so much more complex today and the sheer mass of humanity so much greater.  The consequences of the demagoguery that is sprouting up around the world could be devastating.  We should be thinking more not less.  We should be thinking together.

Less confusion, yes.  Less dismay, no.